Every so often, I receive an email, or a Facebook message, or a note on Twitter that warms my heart.
It may be a few lines of “thanks for doing what you do!” or a more specific style story like, “I wore a 50s vintage dress today and my boss complimented my style. I was so pumped!”
Lately, I’ve been receiving some truly remarkable emails from Sammy Davis Vintage followers. The kind of emails that not only warm my heart, but also break it, too, because they are sharing such personally moving stories on striving to achieve self-worth and self confidence through fashion.
For many of us, we “strive” to achieve this level of style enlightenment, only to be battered and bruised along the way by the naysayers of the crowd. For many people, being OK with “you” is like a never-ending marathon … with crowds of people screaming “boo” along the way. And much to my dismay, I have received a few emails insinuating struggle with this style war waged against oneself.
I’m saddened by the thought that we can’t all love ourselves for what we are and who we want to be — a true understanding of self from the inside out –until I realize that despite our inherent insecurities, the opportunity to reveal the positive in every negative is always present.
The secret? It’s all about doing what you do for you and loving what others’ do for themselves, too.
I believe in the power of positive thinking, and I believe that to achieve positive thinking no matter the circumstances, you must also follow the art of compassion. In other words, the art of compassion inspires the power of positive attraction — for you to be a truly happy person, you must truly be a person who wishes happiness upon the lives of all others … even those who do wrong against you.
Easier said than done, right? Understanding the silver lining in the clouds is a great idea in theory, but a difficult one to practice. It takes a lot of self-love, self-talks, and yes, even moments of darkness and despair to quite literally boost yourself out of those clouds and into the sunshine. No matter the storms on the horizon, the sunshine in you can never be completely darkened — you must love yourself to keep it away from the clouds.
Recently, a Sammy Davis Vintage follower wrote me the email below. It was an email which strongly resonated with me, because I experienced similar feelings about what people thought of me, and about my creative, non homogenous style, as a teenager growing up a my small community of Pennsylvania.
I wanted to take time this Friday to share with you my response to this follower. I wanted to share it because through Sammy Davis Vintage, I hope to maintain a platform of fashion for you. Not a platform of fashion by me, but a platform of motivation for you to do what makes you feel good. That’s why Sammy Davis Vintage is feel-good fashion, and that’s why feel-good fashion is about taking the critical eye of others’ and transforming it into a creative eye of your self style portrait.
Let me know what you guys think in the comments below or by sending me an email at [email protected] I’d love to hear what you think about “rocking fashion in a blah community.” What advice do you have to share? How have you conquered your fashion insecurities?
Happy Friday everyone! <3
Wow! I love your website, especially for your views on positivity and vintage fashion. I do most of my shopping at thrift stores because I love to wear unique items. Trendiness is an obstacle to finding the clothes that simply look the best on YOU as an individual.
Enough about my views on fashion; the reason I’m contacting you is because I have a question that’s been bothering me for a while now. While my unique style may be the norm in a place like NYC, I don’t actually live there but instead in a small rural town. How can I teach people in such a community to appreciate my creativity and eye for art, instead of tossing me off as an oddity, or even worse, a cheapskate?
The most difficult thing about being yourself is that other people find security in their OWN insecurities by making you feel less than 100 percent you. It’s really a warped thing — the fact that unfortunately, our minds can become trained to seek fulfillment by putting others down. But I do believe that we each — yourself especially — have the power to control how we feel and perceive ourselves and the world around us at all times.
I have a friend who actually just called me tonight with a story that you may relate to. She puts out so much positivity to a particular person in her life. He doesn’t return it on an equal level, although he “says” he appreciates it. But his actions don’t demonstrate that — he speaks condescendingly to her and makes jabs at her confidence and feelings of self worth.
Now, she and I spoke it out … and determined that while he may be saying negative things to her, she doesn’t HAVE to perceive them as negative. In fact, she doesn’t have to perceive them AT ALL. She can choose to continue to put out that positive energy — like you and I both do with our fashion and our art and our passions — because it is the act of putting out that energy that makes us feel good and fulfilled. It’s not for anyone else! It’s for you! So while my friend may not get the “thanks” that she deserves, she won’t ever stop treating this person with love and respect … because it is through that action that she is giving HERSELF love and respect.
It a reconditioning of the mind, and the heart, and it is not an overnight transformation. But in recognizing that what you are giving the world is beauty — and that it is beauty you are giving because it is how you seek happiness in your own life, and you deserve 110% to always do what YOU want to be doing … then the “outside” view begins to lessen in importance, until one day … you can be walking down the street wearing nothing but slabs of meat (a la Lady Gaga!) and feeling great because it’s EXACTLY what you want to be showing the world that day. And dangit, they’re seeing it!
and remember … you.rock.your.own.way!