This Thanksgiving, my family was one member smaller at the turkey table. Sometime early Tuesday morning, my 83-year-old grandfather passed away.
My grandfather [or Pop-Pop, as we affectionately called him] was one of those old men you couldn’t help but crush on.
He was a GILTH - Grandfather I’d Like To Hug [yes, I just said HUG], because of his towering 6’ 7” frame [that’s 79 inches tall, people], gregarious quirks [his tag line was “you bet!”], endearing eccentricities [the man ate applesauce, eggs, and sticky buns for dinner - no lie], and most important, reliably pleasant and affectionate personality.
Pop-Pop was a man everyone knew. You couldn’t help but have to know him – the man was taller than everyone in the room, consistently wore plaid pants in bright colors, and in his old age, resorted to riding a pretty kick-ass scooter to help him travel long walking distances.
However, my grandfather wasn’t a very talkative man. But he was loud in other ways – particularly his style – including his height, his personality, and his overall GILTH-ness. I’ll be surprised if less than 100 people arrive at the services tomorrow morning.
So here’s the back story: Last Sunday, my brother George called me to say that Pop-Pop wasn’t doing very well.
“He was talking to Gaga and Michael when I visited him today, Sam,” he told me. [Gaga being my long-dead great grandfather, and Michael my deceased cousin]. “He was raising his hands above his head, like he was reaching for the heavens. It’s not looking good.”
Sunday was the day after La Femme Fete. I was exhausted, cranky, and feeling more than slightly insecure. Monday marked week five of unemployment. And let me tell you, week five is much harder to embrace than week one, two, three, and so on.
All in all, I wanted a good night’s rest, and to get on the road the next day. Not Sunday night.
But after George called and told me that my Grandfather was caught in a state between heaven and earth – talking to the Gaga, Michael, and the angels – I knew that me and the Camry had to bust a move that very night.
I exited the Lincoln Tunnel at midnight and made it to my front door in Lancaster, PA by 2:35AM. 2 1/2 hours covering 171 miles isn’t too shabby.
I saw him one final time on Monday afternoon. He passed that very night.
Whether he waited for the arrival of his final grandchild, or whether he was destined to die Monday night and I returned to see him right in the knick of time, I’ll never know. But what I do know is that in some funny way, I’m happy that he passed near a holiday. During a time when family is meant to be together – whether in sickness or in health, life or death – to lean on, support and offer comfort and joy in our time on earth now.
So when it came time to choose an outfit for Thanksgiving, I actually realized that I was lacking just about anything festive for the holiday, i.e. the browns and reds; seudes and leather; riding boots and cropped jackets that mark fall festive attire.
Whether it’s the fact that fashion influences of NYC continue to seep into my veins, or that I was unconsciously aware that I’d be attending a funeral this week, I brought home an entire wardrobe of black. Seriously. Every single thing is black, with the exception of my bras, underwear and one pair of jeans — and they’re dark denim, nonetheless.
So, in honorable respect of my Pop-Pop’s passing, but also in honor of a color that goes with anything and can add elements of comfortable chic even in the face of the frightening reality that is mankind’s mortality – I wore one of my favorite black, Chanel-inspired pieces from the SDV collection, accessorized with leopard shoe clips, a DIY scarf/headband combo, fishnets, an accompanying Chanel-inspired purse and a hand-me-down Tracy Reese jacket.
Even from a man of few words, Pop-Pop would have said I looked nice that day.
You bet, Pop-Pop.
No, this isn’t in the usual breezeway of my apartment. Location: My Dad’s house in West Chester, PA.
The Dress: Sammy Davis Vintage
The Headband: Consignment/gift from friend at anewmode.com [see below for more on how I personalized it]
The Necklace: Sammy Davis Vintage
The Fishnets: Marshals
The Shoes: BCBG, on sale!
The Bag: Sammy Davis Vintage
The Leopard Shoe Clips: Thanks to my great aunt & grandfather’s sister
The Chanel-Inspired Bag: Sammy Davis Vintage
The Jacket: Tracy Reese – sample. Given to my friend Emily, who gave it to me with the exclamation that it’s “Not her style.” Three hand-offs later [from Tracy Reese to original owner to Emily to me] and this is now my new favorite jacket … that doesn’t quite fit at a size 4, but I make it work.
Now, on how to DIY an average headband to something bigger, brighter, and on yeah – better…
STEP 1: Find a simple headband and a favorite pretty scarf.
Step 2: Tighten the scarf and twist the scarf in circular, tight motions. Sort of like you were rolling a cigarette [for the record, I don’t smoke - thanks to a brother who does, I know these things]
Step 3: As you’re twisting the scarf fabric together, twist the scarf itself onto the headband, starting at the bottom and working your way up.
Step 4: Keep going! Work up the headband, determining your own thickness of the fabric as it sets against the band. I chose thicker twists because the scarf is fairly long.
Step 5: Almost done! As you near the finish line, make sure that each ends of the headband are knotted and secure. I tucked the remaining scarf into the twists of the fabric.
TIP: If the scarf ends come undone from the headband, just pretend like you’re tucking hair behind your ear, but instead, tuck that fabric back into its hiding place. The beauty of this DIY headband is that it doesn’t have to be perfect. In fact, making some messy twists is just the character you need to make this project work.
