“This is what we call love. When you are loved, you can do anything in creation. When you are loved, there’s no need at all to understand what’s happening, because everything happens within you.” ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
Matchmaking. What comes to your mind first when you hear that word?
Do you think of reality TV, exploiting the popular industry by making matchmaking a competitive sport for the “best matchmaker to win” by effortlessly, as if with a magic wand, pairing up love everlasting?
Or, do you think of arranged marriage, where socioeconomic and political reasons played a role in who would end up marrying whom with the intent of procreating and carrying on the family name, estate and reputation in a favorable manner?
Or perhaps you think of my best friend recommending one of her co-workers to go on a date with me because “she thinks we’d really hit it off”?
Then again, maybe it’s all-of-the-above. Because the reality of matchmaking is that like fashion, its definition has changed as the cultural circumstances of an era have evolved. In other words, the matchmaking of yesterday isn’t the same as today and most certainly won’t be of tomorrow.
Since April 2012, I’ve been “open” to the romantic possibilities the universe wishes for me. I believe that there is a higher power at work in all of our lives, and that the best thing we can do is stay in a place of joy which welcomes any and all opportunities which cross our paths.
Which is why, when HowAboutWe and Elle Magazine contacted me to experience the matchmaking services of famed dating columnist E. Jean Carroll, I said “yes!” without hesitation and full knowing that this was another step on my journey to inevitably meet “the one.”
Interested in hiring E. Jean Carroll for matchmaking services of your own? As you’ll read in the post which follows, I highly recommend this modern woman with romantic wisdom. Find her services on Elle Magazine’s website here.
Curious how my (blind) date with destiny went? Check back on Monday, September 16th to watch my video confession on YouTube and to hear what I learned about myself from the experience.
HowAboutWe + E. Jean Carroll of Elle Magazine
Elle Magazine and HowAboutWe have partnered to give awesome singles like myself the opportunity to connect with potential partners based on our attraction to the activity they suggest we experience for the first date.
In opening myself up to receiving and giving love, I also declared to the universe that I was open to any way it wanted to present this opportunity to me.
I emphasize this because the more I let go of “wanting control” over my life, the more things come to me effortlessly, and without force.
And isn’t that the best way to live life and attract the man or woman of our dreams … without the push or the pressure?
Which is why when the opportunity to meet a man under the romantic counsel of E.Jean Carroll was presented to me, I was more than just willing and able: I was ready to rock.
Want to hop on HowAboutWe?
The dating website is where you’ll find potential dates based on their “suggested” activity. You’re finding attraction not just in the aesthetic of the person, but in the activity they’ve proposed. And there’s no greater turn-on than someone who knows what they want and like to do. Indecisiveness = not so sexy!
<< Into sports? Perhaps a run in the park could spike the sparks (and adrenaline) between you.
<< Consider yourself an art connoisseur? Check out your town’s art gallery row together and leave time for a glass of wine to discuss your favorite pieces afterward.
<< More on the low-key side? Suggest coffee at Starbucks. You can keep the date to 45 minutes and heck, even pay for his latte if you’re that type of lady.
Whatever your or their interests, HowAboutWe lets potential matches connect in a way that’s natural, encouraging and pre-planned, thereby reducing the stress of “what do we do” and “where do we go” even before you’ve digitally connected.
My Dating Status Now
In approximately April 2012, I consciously decided to open myself up to love.
Before then, I’d consciously closed myself off to it. I took a 2-year hiatus from dating for the following reasons:
1 // I didn’t want to date. I just couldn’t be bothered with the mental energy it required.
2 // I didn’t feel I had time to date.
3 // I didn’t believe I was worthy of dating.
Add 1 + 2 + 3 together, and you’ve got the simple reality that I didn’t date because, well, I didn’t have the self-love to even believe I deserved to give my love away. My love for myself wasn’t enough, and so I didn’t have enough love to give away as a result. I was fearful that if I did start dating, I’d lose the limited love I had for myself because my anxiety over “crash and burn” scenarios would leave me high, dry and loveless.
It was in April 2012 that I felt a shift within and began to sense that there was something missing, something I wanted, something I deserved and in a weird way, something I already had for myself.
That something? Romance.
Since then, I’ve had long-term dating relationships with three different men. None of them became or will become my boyfriend, but all of them have taught me more about who I am, what I want and how to feel comfortable seeking, asking and desiring the best for the person I know and love most … myself.
As I continue to meet new men and explore who they are and who I am when we’re together, I’m becoming more affirmed in the person I’ve matured to be at age 27 and excited for the person I will grow to become in the years to come.
Staying open to all possibilities is what has made this self-acceptance possible and which I hope you, dear reader, are inspired to be after reading these words.
E. Jean Carroll: Not Your Mother’s Matchmaker
E. Jean Carroll is the unofficial dating advice/relationship coach of fashionable America.
She’s written a dating column for Elle Magazine since 1993, as well as authored the dating book, “Mr. Right, Right Now.”
But what I like most about E.Jean? She’s led the life of a journalist I’ve always wanted to live. A quick glance at the E. Jean Carroll Wikipedia profile reveals roles as contributing editor to Esquire, Playboy and Outside magazines during their most illustrious eras (read: journalism that mattered, not Buzzfeed top 10 lists and infographics).
E. Jean Carroll isn’t just a matchmaker - she’s a media maven. And to hand over a night of my life to her felt oh-so-perfectly right.
Because what you surrender to becomes your power. And to surrender to the destiny of a date, I believe, should be our only goal when “pursuing” an opportunity to love and be loved.
Jeffrey: The Man, the Myth, the Meeting
1 // E. Jean’s email to me the afternoon of the date. I love how she visualized the date and in writing her visualization out, influenced my choice of wardrobe to the nth degree.
2 // At 6PM – approximately one hour and 15 minutes before the proposed meeting time – I ran to a nearby salon to get my nails painted. It was a last minute decision that was absolutely imperative.
3 // The grapes E. Jean suggested I bring to the date. When I asked her what color grapes she replied, “And if you’re not carrying come-hither-deep-purple grapes, you are not the genius I take you for!” Good thing I’d already purchased purple without reading her email reply first!
4 // Some thoughts I scribbled down before the date. Recognizing that to put someone on a pedestal of perfection is always a crime, because that’s a tough place to be. I affirmed to accept myself – and my date – for who we were that evening so that we could enjoy ourselves in the moment for what it was intended (and not what we “hoped”) it to be.
5 // My come-hither 1970s Grecian-inspired maxi dress that I wore the evening of our date. E.Jean, did you approve?
What’s Most Important? Treat Yourself Like the Love of Your Life TO Attract the Love of Your Life
In this video I share why we need to love ourselves – and treat ourselves like the LOVE OF OUR LIVES – first in order *to attract the love of our lives* to us naturally and authentically.
This video was first published on YouTube on September 2nd, 2013.
It remains a “hit” in my series, Lipstick Affirmations, which you can watch here.
Want to find your #powerwithin by recognizing and sharing self-love on Instagram daily?
Follow me on Instagram to see my daily affirmations for self-love written with Sharpie and sealed with a kiss using Revlon lipstick.
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WATCH: Lipstick Affirmations Video 1 - Everyone Has a Purpose
WATCH: #LA Video 3 - I Am What I Want
WATCH: #LA Video 11 - I Treat Myself Like the Love of My Life in Order to Attract the Love of My Life
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